Biblio
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(1999). The Gift of Wounding: Finding Hope and Heart in Challenging Circumstances.
"Balance is the key to truth rather than one rigid position or judgement. Balance can be experienced only after examining many different sides of an issue, and measuring their worth and integrity. We begin that process by recognizing from the outset that there are other sides and perceptions and that we want to learn from these, as well as from our own knowledge and experience." (p. 48)
(1998). The Gift of Fear : Survival Signals That Protect Us From Violence.
"The loss of a job can be as traumatic as the loss of a loved one, but few fired employees receive a lot of condolence or support." (p. 177)
(1989). Getting Unstuck: Breaking Through Your Barriers to Change.
"Cooperation increases when your criticism decreases. If negative criticism worked, you would not spend so much of your time nagging, complaining, and repeating yourself. The next time you feel the urge to criticize—STOP. Instead, ask yourself: Will what I am about to say really help the other person? Will it really get me more of what I want? Is the damage it might do to my relationship in the long run worth the short-term benefit of being right or feeling superior to the person I am about to criticize?" (p. 212)
(1993). Getting Past No.
"We all know people who take a job or enter a personal relationship, become frustrated with their boss or partner, and then leave without giving it a chance. Often they misinterpret the other person's behavior and do not try to work it out. A pattern of breaking off relationships means you never get anywhere because you are always starting over." (p. 36)
(1978). Getting organized : the easy way to put your life in order.
"In other words, order is not an end in itself. Order is whatever helps you to function effectively—nothing more and nothing less. You set the rules and the goals, however special, idiosyncratic, or individualistic they may be." (p. 23)
(2000). The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work.
"The majority of illnesses and disorders that develop in the workplace have emotional stress and their direct or indirect cause." (p. 125)
(1985). The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense.
"It ought to be true that the support structure and the job success would come of themselves, automatically, as a result of your being a good person who does your work properly. I am sorry to have to tell you that the game is not played that way. People who assume it is will be trampled upon and will usually never know what hit them." (p. 244)
(2003). The Geek Syndrome.
Flattened workplace hierarchies are more comfortable for those who find it hard to read social cues. A WYSIWYG world, where respect and rewards are based strictly on merit, is an Asperger's dream.
(1984). Further up the organization.
"Good organizations are living bodies that grow new muscles to meet challenges. A chart demoralizes people. Nobody thinks of himself as below other people. And in a good company he isn't." (p. 159)
(1990). Full catastrophe living: using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness.
"Patience is a form of wisdom. It demonstrates that we understand and accept the fact that sometimes things must unfold in their own time. A child may try to help a butterfly emerge by breaking open its chrysalis. Usually the butterfly doesn't benefit from this. Any adult knows that the butterfly can only emerge in its own time, that the process cannot be hurried." (p. 34)
(1996). Fugitive from the Cubicle Police.
(1990). From Conflict to Resolution: Strategies for Diagnosis and Treatment of Distressed Individuals, Couples, and Families.
"The more an individual has been exposed to no-win situations, the more readily he assumes that other situations cannot be changed for the better. As a consequence, such individuals put out less effort to try to control new conflictual situations." (p. 89)
(1984). Forces of Production.
"For when technological development is seen as politics, as it should be, then the very notion of progress becomes ambiguous: what kind of progress? progress for whom? progress for what? And the awareness of this ambiguity, this indeterminacy, reduces the powerful hold that technology has upon our consciousness and imagination, and it reduces also the hold upon our lives enjoyed by those whose social power has long been concealed and dignified by seemingly technological agendas. Such awareness awakens us not only to the full range of technical possibilities and political potential but also to a broader and older notion of progress, in which the struggle for human fulfillment and social equality replaces a simple faith in technological deliverance, and in which people, with their confidence restored, resume their proper role as subject of the story called history." (preface xiv)
(1990). Force For Change : How Leadership Differs from Management.
"Leadership is different [from management]. Achieving grand visions despite the obstacles always requires an occasional burst of energy, the kind that certain motivational and inspirational processes can provide. Such processes accomplish their energizing effect, not by pushing people in the right direction, as a control mechanism often does, but by satisfying very basic human needs: for achievement, belonging, recognition, self-esteem, a sense of control over one's life, and living up to one's ideals. These processes touch us deeply and powerfully, and elicit a most powerful response." (p. 63)
(1990). FLOW: the Psychology of Optimal Experience.
"Each of us has a picture, however vague, of what we would like to accomplish before we die. How close we get to attaining this goal becomes the measure of the quality of our lives. If it remains beyond reach, we grow resentful or resigned; if it is at least in part achieved, we experience a new sense of happiness and satisfaction." (p. 9)
(1999). First, break all the rules: what the world's greatest managers do differently.
"As we shall discuss...the best managers are adept at spotting a glimpse of talent in someone and then repositioning him so he can play to that talent more effectively." (p. 83)
(1994). First Things First.
"Arnold Toynbee, the great historian, said that all of history can be written in a simple little formula—challenge, response. The challenge is created by the environment, and then the individual, the institution, the society comes up with a response. Then there's another challenge, another response. The formula is constantly being repeated.
The problem is that these responses become codified. They get set in cement. They become a part of the very way we think and the way we perform. They may be good procedures, good practices. But when we're faced with a new challenge the old practices no longer apply. They become obsolete. We're out in the wilderness trying to navigate with a road map." (p. 53)
The problem is that these responses become codified. They get set in cement. They become a part of the very way we think and the way we perform. They may be good procedures, good practices. But when we're faced with a new challenge the old practices no longer apply. They become obsolete. We're out in the wilderness trying to navigate with a road map." (p. 53)
(1997). Firing back: power strategies for cutting the best deal when you're about to lose your job.
"...you may already be convinced that your co-workers, likable and helpful souls as they may have been during good times, are not really part of your protective, extended family. When the bad times came, many of them disappointed you. Either they weren't there for you or they weren't able to solve your problems. If they felt threatened themselves, they were running for cover. Even if they thought they were safe, they were probably showing you a side of themselves you hadn't seen before: a cold, distant, suspicious, or cruel side. But what made you think you were all part of a great big family?" (p. 207)
(1987). Finite and Infinite Games : A Vision of Life as Play and Possibility.
"'Machine' is used here as inclusive of technology and not as an example of it—as a way of drawing attention to the mechanical rationality of technology. We might be surprised by the technological devices that spring from the imagination of gifted inventors and engineers, but there is nothing surprising in the technology itself. The physicist's bomb is as thoroughly mechanical as the Neanderthal's lever—each the exercise of calculable cause-and-effect sequences." (p. 80)
(1989). A Fight to a Better End.
"It's hard to forgive someone who is abusive or spiteful to you. It's even harder to forgive someone who doesn't care whether or not he or she is forgiven." (p. 157)
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