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(2005). Facing the Beasts: Everybody’s a Critic.
2011,
"Everyone I meet has their own baggage of humanity, foibles that I would find it easy to criticize. But if I can reduce the amount of critical aggression I bring to a situation, my relationships become easier."
(1978). Conceptual blockbusting : a pleasurable guide to better problem solving.
"Most people are not happy with criticism and, to make matters worse, are somewhat unsure of the quality of their own ideas. They therefore require a supportive environment in which to work."
(1998). Don't Sweat the Small Stuff at Work.
"Sometimes the criticism we receive is valuable, even helpful. Other times, it's utter nonsense. Either way, learning to see criticism as 'small stuff' is incredibly useful in our efforts to live a life of reduced stress." (p. 270)
(1998). Emotional Blackmail : When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You.
"Fear of Disapproval
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
(1989). Getting Unstuck: Breaking Through Your Barriers to Change.
"Cooperation increases when your criticism decreases. If negative criticism worked, you would not spend so much of your time nagging, complaining, and repeating yourself. The next time you feel the urge to criticize—STOP. Instead, ask yourself: Will what I am about to say really help the other person? Will it really get me more of what I want? Is the damage it might do to my relationship in the long run worth the short-term benefit of being right or feeling superior to the person I am about to criticize?" (p. 212)
(1999). The Gift of Wounding: Finding Hope and Heart in Challenging Circumstances.
"Eric Berne may offer us a clue toward the elimination of our blindness. In his famous book, Games People Play, he describes a type of person who has little insight into himself, who is rather insecure, who seeks love but fears rejection. Not able to accept his own faults, he forms a practice of noticing the faults and failings of others.
Berne calls this negative preoccupation, 'looking for the blemish.' Not only have we experienced times when this has been our own way of reacting, we have met men and women who seem to be absorbed in their readiness to judge and be critical of others.
This characteristic is one of the most destructive in personal and professional relationships." (p. 117)
Berne calls this negative preoccupation, 'looking for the blemish.' Not only have we experienced times when this has been our own way of reacting, we have met men and women who seem to be absorbed in their readiness to judge and be critical of others.
This characteristic is one of the most destructive in personal and professional relationships." (p. 117)
(1978). Negative criticism: Its swath of destruction and what to do about it.
"It is a little after midnight. You have just come out of the last show at the movie. To save a block you cut through a dark alley. Halfway through it—just as you are beginning to relax—two men step out of the shadows. You hear a nasty metallic snick and suddenly there is the glint of knife blades in the feeble light.
What would you do?
I know what I would do.
Quickly I'd turn and throw a fearful look back up the alley. It is clear and free. A surge of adrenalin sends the blood pumping to my legs. Getting out of that alley I set a new indoor Olympic sprint record. The jogger in me has never seen such speed. Nothing seems sweeter than the glare of street lights and the chatter of people making their way to their cars. I look for a police officer and tell my story.
That is what everybody would do in such a situation, right?
But let me play you another version. The scene is the same. The two hulking men are coming at you with knives. But you keep strolling casually on to meet them. You throw up your arms and say, 'I'm all yours. Let me feel the steel. I know it will help me in the long run.'
They oblige by savagely thrusting the knives deep into your defenseless belly. You fall to the pavement writhing with pain. The men stand over you. You roll onto your stomach and gasp, 'You'd better give me a couple in the back, too.'
Ridiculous?
Of course, but it is exactly what thousands upon thousands of us do each and every day by failing to recognize that the knives of negative criticism which people stick in us are just as sharp and deadly as those made of steel and borne by assassins." (p. 9)
What would you do?
I know what I would do.
Quickly I'd turn and throw a fearful look back up the alley. It is clear and free. A surge of adrenalin sends the blood pumping to my legs. Getting out of that alley I set a new indoor Olympic sprint record. The jogger in me has never seen such speed. Nothing seems sweeter than the glare of street lights and the chatter of people making their way to their cars. I look for a police officer and tell my story.
That is what everybody would do in such a situation, right?
But let me play you another version. The scene is the same. The two hulking men are coming at you with knives. But you keep strolling casually on to meet them. You throw up your arms and say, 'I'm all yours. Let me feel the steel. I know it will help me in the long run.'
They oblige by savagely thrusting the knives deep into your defenseless belly. You fall to the pavement writhing with pain. The men stand over you. You roll onto your stomach and gasp, 'You'd better give me a couple in the back, too.'
Ridiculous?
Of course, but it is exactly what thousands upon thousands of us do each and every day by failing to recognize that the knives of negative criticism which people stick in us are just as sharp and deadly as those made of steel and borne by assassins." (p. 9)
(1998). Secrets of the Wild Goose: The Self-Management Way to Increase Your Personal Power and Inspire Productive Teamwork.
"'Constructive criticism'? It's an oxymoron. Criticism, by definition, is destructive." (p. 142)
(1979). The Social Psychology of Organizing.
"As criticisms first start to increase the person exerts more effort, concentration is already quite high, and quality improves. As the criticisms continue to increase there comes a point where the additional increments of effort are now canceled because the person can't concentrate. Beyond this point, the greater the number of criticisms, the lower the quality of performance." (p. 227)
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WorkCreatively.org business culture/management vocabulary
criticism
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closeMatch:
http://purl.org/vocabularies/princeton/wn30/synset-criticism-noun-1.rdf
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linked content:
- sense: criticism
- sense: unfavorable judgment criticism
- in scheme: http://purl.org/vocabularies/princeton/wn30/
- gloss: disapproval expressed by pointing out faults or shortcomings; "the senator received severe criticism from his opponent"
- hyponym of: http://purl.org/vocabularies/princeton/wn30/synset-disapproval-noun-2
- synset id: 106710546
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