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(1998). Emotional Blackmail : When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You.
"Fear of Disapproval
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
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