"Those being bullied at work are more than merely overworked and underappreciated. The fear, shame, humiliation, and loss of dignity that originate at work can creep into every other aspect of life." (p. 337)
"In addition to abuse of position and power by the bully is the denial of the right of the victim to earn their living through employment. The predictable pattern of a bullying relationship invariably ends with the victim being hounded out of their job, with physical and mental health impaired and professionalism discredited." (p. 4)
"Whatever kind of anger you portray, you'll realize that the person you have seen as powerful and in charge is really something of an emotional coward—that's what bullying is all about. Confident, secure people don't need to push others around to get what they want or to prove how strong they are." (p. 230)
"The no tolerance for bullies mindset that has permeated the workplace, however well intended it may be, has created a universally abhorred category to place unwanted workers. While it may be difficult to get people to agree to attack you, it is not very difficult to get them to agree to attack bullies."
You get dirty, and the pig likes it.
'There's a very animalistic response to a bully. It's either fight: "Hey, you talkin' to me?" or flight: "I'm outta here—my life's too short for this crap." The problem with the flight strategy, is that you've just taught the boss that you're the doormat he always thought you were.
But the fight strategy is no better. For one thing, it's hard to outtalk a bully. He doesn't like you. He's never liked you. He's been gunning for you, he's had lots of practice being a bully, and he enjoys it. And besides, if you get down on his level, it's like wrestling with a pig: you get dirty, and the pig likes it!' (p. 45)
"Sometimes we feel that the only way to get our needs met and keep from being pushed around is to fight for our rights. When we feel bullied or anticipate that we will be bullied, we may try to bully others. We may then find ourselves in a continuous and desperate struggle with a lion's share of stress from guilt and loneliness." (p. 226)