Hidden Agendas

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Title Hidden Agendas
Publication Type Book
Pub Year 1990
Authors Potash, M.
Publisher Delacorte Press
Keywords appreciation, conflict, control, flexibility, relationships
Notes flexibility"A psychological contract and a relationship that works for both parties is flexible enough to accomodate both shattered illusions and changing circumstances. However, that flexibility is not easy to come by and most of us at least initially resist altering our expectations in any way. Instead, we become all the more determined to make the other person or the relationship measure up to our standards." (p 147)
conflict"For instance, many recurring conflicts, especially those that are emotionally charged even though there is only a minor difference of opinion, are really about controlling your destiny, being able to choose, prevent others from ignoring or questioning your authority, or warding off frightening feelings of powerlessness." (p. 224)
"A second hidden source of conflict are affronts to our self-esteem, in particular, conditions that prevent us from feeling competent or convince us that we are unappreciated." (p. 225)