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(2005). Crunch Time: 8 Steps to Making the Right Life Decisions at the Right Times.
"Through experience and observation, I've learned and counselled that people who are hostile and belligerent often have developed their 'offensive' posture as a form of defense. These individuals lash out to keep people from further hurting them, possibly discovering and uncovering their vulnerability, and/or from seeing how hurt and rejected they truly feel. Time and again, their defensive behavior is used as a buffer to protect the raw feelings hidden within. In essence, these individuals appear to believe that: 'If I attack you first, I might scare you off, and you won't get to me. Thus, I'm safe for the moment from hurt, disappointment, rejection, etc. Safe from people seeing the truth.'
Another defensive strategy that I deal with on a regular basis is that of withdrawal or apathy. In these cases, individuals appear to withdraw from life and/or appear not to care, in order to conceal their low self-esteem and their intense fear of feeling more rejection and pain. These individuals, in some respects, take the opposite approach in order to protect themselves. They get out of the game altogether. If they don't get up to bat in the game of life, they can't strike out. If they don't put themselves into the contest, they can't be judged—and be rejected. These individuals appear as if—or say—they don't care. But deep down, they care, and once cared—big time. But as a result of past experiences of perceived or real rejection, they've chosen to never let themselves, or their expectations be rejected or dashed again. By withdrawing from it all, they're better safe than sorry." (p. 197)
Another defensive strategy that I deal with on a regular basis is that of withdrawal or apathy. In these cases, individuals appear to withdraw from life and/or appear not to care, in order to conceal their low self-esteem and their intense fear of feeling more rejection and pain. These individuals, in some respects, take the opposite approach in order to protect themselves. They get out of the game altogether. If they don't get up to bat in the game of life, they can't strike out. If they don't put themselves into the contest, they can't be judged—and be rejected. These individuals appear as if—or say—they don't care. But deep down, they care, and once cared—big time. But as a result of past experiences of perceived or real rejection, they've chosen to never let themselves, or their expectations be rejected or dashed again. By withdrawing from it all, they're better safe than sorry." (p. 197)
(1978). Control your depression.
"Psychological prevention is a much neglected area. There is so much need for giving services to people who are hurting that we do not take the time to prepare those who are not hurting to live life in effective ways. If we did, we might be able to prevent many from becoming casualties. The savings in therapy time and money—not to mention human suffering—could be enormous. Perhaps some day 'psychological impact statements' will be as familiar to our ears as 'environmental impact statements.'"
(2000). The Cluetrain Manifesto : The End of Business As Usual.
"Conversations are where intellectual capital gets generated. But business environments based on command-and-control are usually characterized by intimidation, coercion, and threats of reprisal. In contrast, genuine conversation flourishes only in an atmosphere of free and open exchange." (p. 15)
(1995). C++ Templates and Tools.
(1994). C++ Components and Algorithms.
(1988). The Constraints of Corporate Tradition: Doing the Correct Thing Not Just What the Past Dictates.
But when boosting productivity comes to mean in practice nothing more than an efficiency-driven effort to cut costs and do better with line workers what is now being done, we can watch the coral build up before our very eyes. In an earlier environment, the link between old-fashioned, direct labor-based productivity and competitive strength was obvious and immediate. Today, that linkage is more complicated and less certain. Doing the right things is every bit as important as doing things right. Time was, we could think of direct-labor productivity as a pretty fair approximation of competitiveness and be confident we were on the mark. No longer. The proxy does not hold. Forgetful that it was—and is—but a proxy that holds for some circumstances but not all, many of today's managers treat as a living fact what is no more than the hard shell of past experience.
So it is with most of the maps by which managers steer. What was once known to be an artifice, though no less useful for that, gradually loses its air of being an imaginatively constructed thing and, equally gradually, takes on the air of being something real and hard and concrete in its own right." (p. 13)
So it is with most of the maps by which managers steer. What was once known to be an artifice, though no less useful for that, gradually loses its air of being an imaginatively constructed thing and, equally gradually, takes on the air of being something real and hard and concrete in its own right." (p. 13)
(1993). Computer Ethics.
(1999). Core Java 2 : Volume 1 Fundamentals.
(1997). Core Java 1.1 Volume 2.
(Submitted). Creativity in Your Professional Life.
"When you find yourself stuck on some problem or issue, taking a trip or simply immersing in a new environment often brings up synchronistic solutions. The trouble is, we can't mentally 'will' ourselves to go to this new place. Our minds know how to analyze, compartmentalize and dissect; they know how to churn things around in circles. They do not know how to enter the imaginal."
(1989). Catch-22.
(1994). Competing for the Future.
"There beats in every person the heart of an explorer. The joy of discovery may be found in the pages of a new cookbook, in a brochure of exotic vacations, in an architect's plans for a custom-built home, in the trek to a remote trout stream, in the first run down a virgin-powdered ski slope, by the opportunity to explore the unfamiliar. Thus, it's not surprising that when a company's mission is largely undifferentiated from that of its competitors, employees may be less than inspired." (p. 132)
(2006). CrazyBusy : overstretched, overbooked, and about to snap : strategies for coping in a world gone ADD.
"Our task now is to learn how to use the technology we've invented, rather than allow it to use us, so that it improves our human connections, and does not replace them."
(1993). The Creative Spirit.
"'Love is not a word people talk about easily', says Larry Wilson, 'Yet, increasingly, we're seeing that people are wanting to know that somebody cares about them, that they are not just seen as some interchangeable part. Real leadership is about demonstrating that your intention is to care for people and support their growth.'" (p. 139)
(1986). Communication and Community: implications of Martin Buber's Dialogue.
"Shunning has been used for centuries as a paradoxical technique of collectively disciplining a person to bring him or her back into the group. This method may be the lesser of evils, however. As one my friends keenly observed, shunning is better than death, which has been used in some groups to eliminate the deviant. Given these two bleak choices, most of us would probably choose being ignored, But we should not minimize the pain one can feel from such exclusion. As William james stated, there is no more fiendish behavior than to act as if 'another did not exist.'"
(1982). The Computer Establishment.
"Computing is a technology with many paths to follow; at each fork there is vigorous dissension among the brightest practitioners. We need to preserve that dissension, to offer scientists and businessmen a reasonable chance to pursue whatever goal seems promising and customers the greatest possible opportunity to choose their supplier." (p. 408)
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