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Parady, M. (1995).  7 Secrets for Successful Living: Tapping the Wisdom of Ralph Waldo Emerson to Achieve Love, Happiness, and Self-Reliance.
"Conforming to a way of life you do not believe in diminishes your power, for you are working against yourself. Although you may accomplish much in the way of outward success, in your core fear and weakness reign. Why do you think many people feel disillusioned when they finally achieve success? Those who do usually say 'something is missing,' and that something is usually their real selves." (p. 22) "Emerson wrote about the dangers of looking to others for approval and validation. Yet in our day, as in his, we are programmed to look to others for our sense of self-worth and dignity. This tendency, rooted deep within us, leads people away from themselves and toward lives and behaviors foreign to their individual needs and proclivities, causing low self-esteem and eventually self-hatred. And when we hate ourselves, we allow people to inflict all kinds of abuse upon us, because we unconsciously feel we deserve it." (p. 16)
Fromm, E. (1973).  The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness.
"Power can mean power over people, or it can mean power to do things...Many writers, unfortunately, make use of this ambiguous meaning of the words 'power' and 'control', and in order to smuggle in the praise of 'power over' they identify it with 'power to'. Moreover, lack of control does not mean lack of any kind of organization, but only of those kinds in which the control is exploitative and the controlled cannot control the controllers." (p. 394) "Being powerless and hence in danger of being enslaved, or having power and hence in danger of becoming dehumanized, are two evils. Which is to be shunned the most is a matter of religious and moral or political conviction." (p. 395) "Those whose narcissism refers to their group rather than to themselves as individuals are as sensitive as the individual narcissist, and they react with rage to any wound, real or imaginary, inflicted upon their group. If anything, they react more intensely and certainly more consciously. An individual, unless he is mentally very sick, may have at least some doubts about his personal narcissistic image. The member of the group has none, since his narcissism is shared by the majority." (p. 231) "The individual loses his active, responsible role in the social process; he becomes completely 'adjusted' and learns that any behavior, act, thought, or feeling which does not fit into the general scheme puts him at a severe disadvantage; in fact he is what is is supposed to be. If he insists on being himself, he risks, in police states, his freedom or even his life; in some democracies, he risks not being promoted, or more rarely, he risks even his job, and perhaps most importantly, he risks feeling isolated, without communication with anybody." (p. 53) "On the other hand, the psychic pain can be as intense or even more so than the physical. I do not need to give examples for this mental sadism. Parents inflict it on their children, professors on their students, superiors on their inferiors--in other words, it is employed in any situation where there is someone who cannot defend himself against the sadist. (If the teacher is helpless, the students often turn into sadists.) Mental sadism may be disguised in many seemingly harmless ways: a question, a smile, a confusing remark. Who does not know an 'artist' in this kind of sadism, the one who finds just the right word or the right gesture to embarass or humiliate another in this innocent way. Naturally, this kind of sadism is often all the more effective if the humiliation is inflicted in front of others." (p. 318)
Evans, P. (2003).  Controlling People: How to Recognize, Understand, and Deal with People Who Try to Control You.
"Other people's definitions of us are not just absurd--if unchallenged, they erect prison walls around us. As they rise higher, the light of awareness fades. The world darkens. We lose freedom, safety, confidence, conviction, and sometimes ourselves." (p. 77) "When people unwittingly form their identity out of one imposed on them by others, how they appear to others becomes an all-important barometer by which to validate their existence. In a backwards construction of self, there is no three-dimensionality, no depth, no space for future evolution and integration with the world. Human empathy, warmth, allowance for error--all that is considered to be humanity itself--may find no niche, no accommodation." (p. 54)
Bramson, R. (1994).  Coping with Difficult Bosses.
"There are certainly times when honest spontaneity is the key to improved human relationships, but while you are being harpooned by a hostile boss is not one of those times. It is then you need to do what actors do--communicate emotions you do not feel." (p. 20)
Laing, R. D. (1965).  The Divided Self.
"The component we wish to separate off for the moment is the initial compliance with the other person's intentions or expectations for one's self, or what are felt to be the other person's intentions or expectations. This usually amounts to an excess of being 'good', never doing anything other than what one is told, never being 'a trouble', never asserting or even betraying any counter-will of one's own. Being good is not, however, done out of any positive desire on the individual's part to do the things that are said by others to be good, but is a negative conformity to a standard that is the other's standard and not one's own, and is prompted by the dread of what might happen if one were to be oneself in actuality. [emphasis mine] This compliance is partly, therefore, a betrayal of one's own true possibilities, but is also a technique of concealing and preserving one's own true possibilities, which, however, risk never becoming translated into actualities if they are entirely concentrated in an inner self for whom all things are possible in imagination but nothing is possible in fact."
Tieger, P. D., & Barron-Tieger B. (1995).  Do What You Are.
"Pressure to be what you aren't can cause lifelong confusion. If you are obliged to fit into a certain group mentality that really doesn't suit you (this could be a family dynamic, a school or community setting, or a professional environment), you may end up denying your true nature and not enjoying your required role. If you spend twenty years at a job you don't enjoy, you may end up not only out of touch with your natural interests but--even worse--with a distorted view of your own competence." (p. 90)
Drucker, P. F. (1993).  The Effective Executive.
"But the organization is an abstraction. Mathematically, it would have to be represented as a point--that is, as having neither size nor extension. Even the largest organization is unreal compared to the reality of the environment in which it exists." (p. 13) "All in all, the effective executive tries to be himself; he does not pretend to be someone else. He looks at his own performance and at his own results and tries to discern a pattern." (p. 97) "These are not the things most people have in mind when they talk about the strengths and weaknesses of a man. They usually mean knowledge of a discipline or talent in an art. But temperament is also a factor in accomplishment and a big one. An adult usually knows quite a bit about his own temperament. To be effective he builds on what he knows he can do and does it in the way he has found out he works the best." (p. 98)
Fromm, E. (1994).  Escape From Freedom.
"The inability to act spontaneously, to express what one genuinely feels and thinks, and the resulting necessity to present a pseudo self to others and oneself, are the root of the feeling of inferiority and weakness. Whether or not we are aware of it, there is nothing of which we are more ashamed than of not being ourselves, and there is nothing that gives us greater pride and happiness than to think, to feel, and to say what is ours." (p. 288) "Returning now to the discussion of the authoritarian character, the most important feature to be mentioned is its attitude towards power. For the authoritarian character there exist, so to speak, two sexes: the powerful ones and the powerless ones. His love, admiration and readiness for submission are automatically aroused by power, whether of a person or of an institution. Power fascinates him not for any values for which a specific power may stand, but just because it is power. Just as his 'love' is automatically aroused by power, so powerless people arouse his contempt. The very sight of a powerless person makes him want to attack, dominate, humiliate him. Whereas a different kind of character is appalled by the idea of attacking one who is helpless, the authoritarian character feels the more aroused the more helpless his object has become" (p. 190)
Pfeffer, J., & Sutton R. I. (2013).  Hard Facts, Dangerous Half-Truths, and Total Nonsense: Profiting from Evidence-based Management. 274. Abstract
"As Dennis Bakke reminds us in his book Joy at Work, life is not just about performance, effectiveness, and efficiency.[bib]Bakke2005[/bib] The very essence of being a sentient human being is the ability to make choices and take actions--to be responsible, in control of at least some aspects of our own life, and engaged in actively creating the world in which we live. To cede those tasks to others, even others who are benign and possibly wiser than us, is to deny the full experience of being fully human and alive." (p. 199) "If your aim is to bolster organizational performance, there are some sound reasons why work should be divorced from the rest of life, people ought to treat each other differently (and often worse) than in other roles, and employees should present modified and muted versions of themselves at work, even if it means masking or lying about their essential natures." (p. 70) "Not only do leaders overestimate their positive effects on followers, the belief that leaders ought to be in control is a dangerous half-truth because when they wield too much influence and control over their followers, bad things often happen to their companies and their employees." "People derive satisfaction from their social relationships in the workplace. Differential rewards drive people apart, sorting them into categories as 'winners', 'nothing special', and 'losers.' The result is jealousy and resentment, which damages social ties and diminishes trust and sociability in the workplace." (p. 127) "It turns out that a surprisingly high percentage of jobs are idiosyncratic, created, designed, and customized to fit the preferences and skills of some unique person, not because some expert ever imagined in advance that the organization would need that job.
Hoover, J. (2003).  How to work for an idiot: survive & thrive– without killing your boss.
"The plan I suggest in this chapter is the old 'false identity' ploy. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em. Or make it appear as if you're joining 'em. Sometimes it's just no use fighting the system. Burn your personal fuel cells on things you have some control over and enjoy. If you're trapped in a culture of idiots with no possibility for improvement in your lifetime, you might as well blend in. Why burn yourself out?" (p. 32) "Ambitious, creative, innovative, and enthusiastic team members can still draw enough attention to be executed or run off by status quo preservationists. Many people do a good job and make tremendous contributions to the achievement of organizational goals, only to have those achievements and contributions minimized, marginalized, and maligned. Such people often buy into the mythical belief that they can take their hard work and enthusiasm to another organization where they will be better appreciated. That rarely works. Most of the time, they find the grass no greener in the new pasture and all they have succeeded in doing is lowering their seniority. There are bad bosses everywhere. You might as well master the art of working with them right where you are. After a few such disappointing attempts to find greener pastures, some formerly enthusiastic people go numb, fall silent, melt into the woodwork, and manage to coast across the retirement finish line before anyone notices. They didn't set out to do it that way, the system merely knocked them unconscious, and that's how it turned out." (p. 137)
Cox, A. M. (2003).  I Am Never Lonely: A brief history of employee personality testing.
"This first boom in personality testing reached its apogee with Henry C. Link's Employment Psychology, in 1919, in which he proclaimed:
'The ideal employment method is undoubtedly an immense machine which would receive applicants of all kinds at one end, automatically sort, interview, and record them, and finally turn them out at the other end nicely labeled with the job which they are to do.'
"So personality tests aren't really about you: they're about money. If you lie on a personality test to get a job, it means that you understand that a job, a salary, is worth submerging your own self for."
Smye, M. D. (1998).  Is It Too Late to Run Away and Join the Circus?: Finding the Life You Really Want.
"'I get myself up in the morning. I shave my face. I dress in my clothes. I go to my office. I do my work. I come back to my house. But I feel like I'm only doing an imitation of myself, and it's not a terrific impersonation.'" "'And everything was carved in stone: situation meetings at 8:00 on Thursdays, monthly reports on the last Tuesday of the month. Don't color outside of the lines. It was a system, and it probably used to mean something. My problem was that I found I didn't want to work that way. I didn't mind the actual work, but I minded doing it that way.'" (p. 104)
Dobson, M. S., & Dobson D. S. (2000).  Managing Up! : 59 Ways to Build a Career-Advancing Relationship with Your Boss.
"It's obvious that you do bring elements of your true self to the job environment, though some bring more than others. But you aren't and can't be completely be your true self at work." (p. 73) "In the same way the savvy professional quickly learns that office parties aren't parties, make sure you are aware that office friendships aren't friendships, except in rare cases. The proof is when you think about your previous jobs. How many of those people do you still see? Don't be upset that they're not calling you; you probably aren't calling them, either. Your relationship depended in large part on the shared experience and environment of the workplace, and when that ceases, the relationship quickly evaporates. Your real friends are the ones whose continuing relationship doesn't depend on punching the same time clock." (p. 73) "The use of clubs, sports, and other special interests is a traditional way for the 'old boy network' to exclude others. If exclusive clubs were simply about some people who wanted to play golf or tennis together or have a drink with friends, few would care. But they're not--or at least they're not about that alone. They're about who gets to be part of the informal networking that shapes a significant amount of access to the higher socioeconomic reaches of American life." (p. 168)
Schwartz, H. S. (1990).  Narcissistic Process and Corporate Decay: The Theory of the Organizational Ideal.
"When work, the productive process, becomes display, its meaning becomes lost. Its performance as part of the organizational drama becomes the only meaning it has. Accordingly, the parts it plays in the organization's transactions with the world become irrelevant. When this happens, work loses its adaptive function and becomes mere ritual. At the same time, the rituals that serve to express the individual's identification with the organization ideal, especially those connected with rank, come to be infused with significance for the individual. They become sacred. Thus, reality and appearance trade places. The energy that once went into the production of goods and services of value to others is channelled into the dramatization of a narcissistic fantasy in which the organization's environment is merely a stage setting." (p. 61) "Loss of Creativity The delegitimation of one's sense of what is important gives rise to a special case of the ritualization of work--the loss of creativity. Schein (1983) describes the condition of 'conformity' that follows from an insistence by the organization that all of its norms be accepted as being equally important. Under that condition, the individual 'can tune in so completely on what he sees to be the way others are handling themselves that he becomes a carbon-copy and sometimes a caricature of them.' Consequently, Schein notes: 'The conforming individual curbs his creativity and thereby moves the organization toward a sterile form of bureaucracy.' " (p. 63) "This is the fundamental dynamic of totalitarianism. It alienates people from themselves and gives them over to others. Whatever victories ensue must be pyrrhic. Whatever happiness is to be attained here is not the happiness of the individual. Indeed, it is not happiness at all. It is the drama of happiness attaching to a role that the person performs in a play that is written and directed by others." (p. 16) "In organizational totalitarianism the organization, as defined by its leadership's understanding of their own actions, is proclaimed to be the organizational ideal; and the organization's power is used to impose this as the ego ideal for the organization's participants. (p. 24)" "Thus, locating the return to narcissism at the head of the organization means more than establishing a direction toward the ego ideal. It involves establishing certain definite others, with their own way of looking at the world and at themselves and with their own history of actions, as already ideal. It involves, in other words, acquiescing to the perfection of some specific others as ones own moral obligation, collectively enforceable by all others who have done so and with whom one defines oneself as ideally in community. It legitimizes the coercion by the powerful that causes the less powerful to act out a drama whose theme is the perfection of the powerful. And it does so in such a way that the powerful can feel self-righteous about this coercion--as if they were performing a service or committing a sacrifice." (p. 24) "There is something not only unnatural but positively impossible about becoming someone else. But this is obligatory. The result is that the person one really is not only is unacceptable to oneself, but is unacceptable in social life, which is in turn composed of persons who are each unacceptable in social life for the same reasons. The result is that social interaction takes place not between persons, but between performances. Roles utter words at other roles. And if at any time any one of them were to say, as each of them somehow knows, 'This is a bunch of nonsense,' that person would become a pariah because he or she would bring out in all these people the anxiety that motivated the performance in the first place and maintained it at all times. Thus, each of these persons must live in more or less complete isolation and be terribly lonely." (p. 26)
Whyte, W. H. (1956).  The Organization Man.
"It is the nature of a new idea to confound current consensus--even the mildly new idea. It might be patently in order, but, unfortunately, the group has a vested interest in its miseries as well as its pleasures, and irrational as this may be, many a member of organization life can recall instances where the group clung to known disadvantages rather than risk the anarchies of change." (p. 440) "We practice a great mutual deception. Everyone knows that they themselves are different--that they are shy in company, perhaps, or dislike many things most people seem to like--but they are not sure that other people are different too. Like the norms of personality testing, they see about them the sum of efforts of people like themselves to seem as normal as others and possibly a little more so. It is hard enough to learn to live with our inadequacies, and we need not make ourselves more miserable by a spurious ideal of middle-class adjustment. Adjustment to what? Nobody really knows--and the tragedy is that they don't realize that the so-confident-seeming other people don't know either."
Janes, J., & Sheehy G. (2007).  The Power of Experience : Great Writers Over 50 on the Quest for a Lifetime of Meaning.
"Crossing into second adulthood pushes us beyond the preoccupation with self. We are compelled to reexamine the made-to-order persona that gained us points and protection in our earlier, striving years. As we become more certain of the values we stand for--as we hunger to find more significance in the actions we take in the world--we may permit a 'little death' of that 'false self'. If so, we make room for the birth of a new self, one with the 'roundedness' of personality that Jung describes as possible only in the afternoon of life. That is the power of experience." (p. xvii)
Hirschorn, L. (1993).  The Psychodynamics of Organizations. (Howell S. Baum, Eric L. Trist, James Krantz, Carole K. Barnett, Steven P. Feldman, Thomas N. Gilmore, Laurence J. Gould, Larry Hirschorn, Manfred F.R. KetsDeVries, Laurent Lapierre, Howard S. Schwartz, Glenn Swogger, David A. Thomas, Donald R. Young, Abraham Zaleznik, Michael A. Diamond, Ed.).
"A wide variety of approaches that guide investigation of organizational life have openly and strongly challenged the assumption that organizations behave as rational systems." (p. xiv) "Managers and executives in contemporary organizations must exercise great initiative while delegating substantial authority to those below them. It is no longer adequate simply to give and take orders. But as people experience greater freedom in their roles, they must also confront the anxieties and conflicts that bedevil them when they exercise authority. The external world of work is shaped increasingly by people's inner feelings and interior experiences. When people cannot take up their authority freely and without undue conflict and anxiety, they fear that authentic self-expression, the full flowering of their resources and vitality, will hurt them. As the three cases presented above suggest, in the face of this prospect some people will behave in inhibited ways, while others will mask their insecurity and neediness by overreaching and demanding too much. In this sense, we can say that people are relying on what Winnicott (1959 [1965], 1960 [1965]) calls a 'false self,' as opposed to a 'true self,' to take up their roles. They will, as a result, lack flexibility and vitality, and instead they will often behave in repetitive, constricted, non-task-oriented, and frequently self-defeating ways." (p. 60) "Organizations give alexithymics great opportunities to blend into the organizational culture. These organizational environments legitimize what otherwise may be looked at as strange may very well be that certain types of organizations go even further in that they possess the kind of numbing quality that awakens dormant alexithymic tendencies in their employees." (p. 210) "In explaining his failure to get ahead, he used the following analogy to to describe the dangers of acting aggressively or politically at work. Among coyotes, males are born into a pack; you have a whole litter. You have men who will never become leaders because of their biology, their genetics. And you have some more aggressive cubs, and they will do whatever they need to do to become leaders. And they have to eat the pack leader. And he never gives up until he can't resist any longer. I think I was born in that other group. When puppies are born, they do all sorts of things to give the dominant male his rights, and they will do all sorts of growling, and the puppy will turn over. There are linkages back and forth between humans and coyotes. Somehow I must not ever have given my bosses that yelp and stomach up, and they sensed it. And I never got the membership and support I needed." (p. 34) "In a landmark article, Schwartz (1987) constructed a theory of the 'organizational ideal' in which organization members, unwilling to face their imperfect selves, imagine that the organization contains the secret route to their ideal selves. Projecting their hidden grandiosity onto the organization, they repress their own sense of limits and failure and come to believe that the organization and its leaders are perfect. In such a culture, members have contempt for one another, or for at least those who stand nearer the bottom of the organization, since only by rising to the top can a person prove that he or she approximates the organizational ideal. Competition between peers is then justified, since the organizations perfection can be protected only if the unworthy are eliminated or put in their place. Mutuality between peers is consequently inhibited and feelings are denied." (p. 75) "Finally, a managers ability to accept these projections, especially the negative ones of subordinates (e.g., dependency, hatred, envy), without retribution or retaliation helps to create what Winnicott terms a 'holding environment'--that is, an environment that provides a sense of psychological safety within which work can productively be accomplished and people can grow and develop in their roles." (p. 61)
Conley, C. (2001).  The Rebel Rules: Daring to be Yourself in Business.
"Most people never make this connection [that their creative abilities are an asset]. They jump on society's bandwagon, averting the risk of repeating some painful childhood memory. They continue to fear and avoid dangers that, while once all too real, have no relevance in their lives today. Sometimes we even try to hide our youthful talents and gifts for fear they're not acceptable. The net result is a disconnected life--one that is too familiar to many of us." (p. 29)
Hawthorne, N., Bradley S. E., & Long H. E. (1978).  The Scarlet Letter: An Authoritative Text, Essays in Criticism and Scholars.
"A third group--'those best able to appreciate the minister's peculiar sensibility and the wonderful operation of his spirit upon the body'--see the letter as a psychic cancer that gradually manifested itself physically." --Roy R. Male (p. 334) "No man, for any considerable period, can wear one face to himself and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which may be the true."
Finley, G., Howard V., & Arnaz D. (2002).  The Secret of Letting Go.
"A man who doesn't know his true identity does not know that he really doesn't know. The fact that he is confused, frightened and still searching for himself remains almost totally unsuspected by him, because he has unknowingly assumed a false identity. This temporary, false self feels real because it is animated and driven along by the man's reactions as he seeks himself. The fact that this lower nature is driven does not mean it is alive. A bulldozer rolls along too, but it cannot see or understand why it smashes into things. It is a machine. So, in many ways, is the false self." (p. 34)
Middelton-Moz, J. (1990).  Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise.
"Children who grow up in shaming environments quickly learn that one must blame or be blamed. There are very few compromises in shaming environments. It often feels like we are playing 'emotional hot potato' in our adult relationships...Passing the blame to someone else is our attempt to protect an already injured self from more wounds." (p. 82) "When a person puts forth a 'false self' to the world and hides the real self, there is no way to believe that acceptance is possible. It is only through disclosing our real selves that we can feel lovable." (p. 34)
Kaufman, G. (1985).  Shame: The Power of Caring.
"Defenses against shame are adaptive. They have been the client's only ways of surviving intolerable shame. Strategies of defense aim at protecting the self against further exposure and further experiences of shame. Several of the most prominent strategies are rage, contempt for others, the striving for perfection, the striving for power, and internal withdrawal. Both perfectionism and excessive power-seeking are strivings against shame and attempt to compensate for the sense of defectiveness which underlies internalized shame. None of these are unitary strategies; rather, they become expressed in unique and varied ways, with several often functioning together." (p. 128) "All of us embrace a common humanity in which we search for meaning in living, for essential belonging with others, and for valuing of who we are as unique individuals. We need to feel that we are worthwhile in some especial way, as well as whole inside. We yearn to feel that our lives are useful, that what we do and who we are do matter. Yet times come upon us when doubt creeps inside, as if an inner voice whispers despair. Suddenly, we find ourselves questioning our very worth or adequacy. It may come in any number of ways: "I can't relate to people." "I'm a failure." "Nobody could possibly love me." "I'm inadequate as a man or as a woman." When we have begun to doubt ourselves, and in this way to question the very fabric of our lives, secretly we feel to blame; the deficiency lies within ourselves alone. Where once we stood secure in our personhood, now we feel a mounting inner anguish, a sickness of the soul. This is shame. Above all else, shame reveals the self inside the person, thereby exposing it to view. To feel shame is to feel seen in a painfully diminished sense. This feeling of exposure constitutes an essential aspect of shame. Whether all eyes are upon me or only my own, I feel deficient in some vital way as a human being. And in the midst of shame, an urgent need to escape or hide may come upon us." "Disowning of self robs us not only of integrity but inner security as well." (p. 111)
Beal, D. (2001).  The Tragedy in the Workplace: The Longest Running Show in the Country.
"Because of the current ego-driven management, many people in the workplace feel as though they are in prison, with little freedom of expression or ability to perform and contribute at their highest level. Learning to face the ego and learning to become an enlightened leader are meaningful and necessary goals. As business leaders begin to personally transform, they will free the employees to work creatively and productively within an environment that fosters their true potential." (p. xxii) "The ego is also an actor, a false identity playing a role we believe is real. Its stage is the workplace, and its drama is a tragedy--complete with pain, suffering, triumph, and loss. This tragedy is a real-life tragedy as long as we exist here on the physical plane. We cannot go home and be thankful it was only a movie or stage play. It is our life." (p. 34)
George, B., & Sims P. (2007).  True north: discover your authentic leadership.
"When you do not feel in a safe place, you cover your core self to protect it from exposure and harm, and you develop a false self." (p. 77) "Above all, leadership is a human undertaking. When leaders reveal their vulnerabilities, they develop trusting human connections with others that motivate and empower those they engage." (p. 82)
Wilmer, H. A. (1994).  Understandable Jung: the personal side of Jungian psychology.
"With our personas, we often attempt to present our idealized selves, our ego ideals. Therefore, it hides our shadows and protects us from the shadows of others. It is a kind of acceptable sham." (p. 33)