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Middelton-Moz, J. (1990).  Shame & Guilt: Masters of Disguise.
"Children who grow up in shaming environments quickly learn that one must blame or be blamed. There are very few compromises in shaming environments. It often feels like we are playing 'emotional hot potato' in our adult relationships...Passing the blame to someone else is our attempt to protect an already injured self from more wounds." (p. 82) "When a person puts forth a 'false self' to the world and hides the real self, there is no way to believe that acceptance is possible. It is only through disclosing our real selves that we can feel lovable." (p. 34)