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(1998). Emotional Blackmail : When the People In Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You.
"Fear of Disapproval
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
This fear may sound insignificant, but believe me, for many people it is excruciating. The fear of disapproval is much deeper than cringing if someone goes 'Tsk-tsk' over something you've said or done. It is interwoven with our basic sense of self-worth. If we allow other people's approval or disapproval to define us, we set ourselves up to believe that there is something fundamentally wrong with us whenever we incur displeasure." (p. 225)
(1995). Discipline and punish : the birth of the prison.
"Disciplinary power...is exercised through its invisibility; at the same time it imposes on those whom it subjects a principle of compulsory visibility. In discipline, it is the subjects who have to be seen. Their visibility assures the hold of the power that is exercised over them. It is the fact of being constantly seen, of being able always to be seen, that maintains the disciplined individual in his subjection. And the examination is the technique by which power, instead of emitting the signs of its potency, instead of imposing its mark on its subjects, holds them in a mechanism of objectification. In this space of domination, disciplinary power manifests its potency, essentially, by arranging objects. The examination is, as it were, the ceremony of this objectification." (p. 187)
(2000). Americans with disabilities : exploring implications of the law for individuals and institutions.
"The key mediating concept here is self-respect. Suppose we agree with Rawls that self-respect is a vital primary good, something of great importance that any rational person is presumed to want. Now, given actual human psychology, self-respect is—to a considerable degree—dependent on other people's affirmation of one's own worth. And in modern advanced societies, employment, earnings, and professional success are, for better or worse, positively correlated with social assessments of an individual's value. Further, beyond the reactions of other people, work and career identifications form significant parts of some people's conceptions of themselves and their own worth; hence these identifications may contribute directly to the creation and sustenance of self-respect, and their absence will frequently have the opposite effect." (p. 179)
(2005). The Idiot.
(1993). Anne Frank: The Diary of a Young Girl.
306. Abstract
"Daddy has been home a lot lately, as there is nothing for him to do at business; it must be rotten to feel so superfluous." (p. 12)
(2004). Head First Design Patterns.
(1998). Nuts! : Southwest Airlines' Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success.
CURIOSITY FUELS LEARNING
Do you ever wonder how little kids learn? They try things. Their curiosity is uninhibited. Free from the constraints of a 'We've always done it this way' or 'It'll never work' kind of world, they get great joy out of putting the wheels of exploration and experimentation in motion. Their minds are free to wander. Totally enthralled, they exhibit a refreshing sense of wonder while they learn." (p. 113)
Do you ever wonder how little kids learn? They try things. Their curiosity is uninhibited. Free from the constraints of a 'We've always done it this way' or 'It'll never work' kind of world, they get great joy out of putting the wheels of exploration and experimentation in motion. Their minds are free to wander. Totally enthralled, they exhibit a refreshing sense of wonder while they learn." (p. 113)
(1998). Organization Development : Behavioral Science Interventions for Organization Improvement.
"Two basic assumptions about individuals in organizations pervade organization development. The first assumption is that most individuals have drives toward personal growth and development if provided an environment that is both supportive and challenging. Most people want to develop their potential. The second assumption is that most people desire to make, and are capable of making, a greater contribution to attaining organization goals than most organizational environments permit." (p. 67)
(1986). Communication and Community: implications of Martin Buber's Dialogue.
"Shunning has been used for centuries as a paradoxical technique of collectively disciplining a person to bring him or her back into the group. This method may be the lesser of evils, however. As one my friends keenly observed, shunning is better than death, which has been used in some groups to eliminate the deviant. Given these two bleak choices, most of us would probably choose being ignored, But we should not minimize the pain one can feel from such exclusion. As William james stated, there is no more fiendish behavior than to act as if 'another did not exist.'"
(1995). The Little Schemer - 4th Edition.
(2013). Total Leadership: Be a Better Leader, Have a Richer Life.
284. Abstract
"If you approach your dialogues with a spirit of inquiry—if you want to learn, not argue—you will likely open up new pathways." (p. 109)
(1987). Barron's Dictionary of Business Terms.
"Management Style: the leadership method a manager uses in administering an organization. For example, it may be said a manager has a very informal style, which signifies that the manager does not practice close supervision and believes in open communication." (p. 342)
(1970). Man For Himself: An Inquiry Into the Psychology of Ethics.
"Since modern man experiences himself as both the seller and the commodity to be sold on the market, his self-esteem depends on conditions beyond his control. If he is 'successful,' he is valuable; if he is not, he is worthless." (p. 72)
(1955). The Sane Society.
"[Man] is part of the machine, rather than its master as an active agent. The machine, instead of being in his service to do work for him which once had to be performed by sheer physical energy, has become his master. Instead of the machine being the substitute for human energy, man has become a substitute for the machine. His work can be defined as the performance of acts which cannot yet be performed by machines." (p. 180)
(1994). Escape From Freedom.
"The inability to act spontaneously, to express what one genuinely feels and thinks, and the resulting necessity to present a pseudo self to others and oneself, are the root of the feeling of inferiority and weakness. Whether or not we are aware of it, there is nothing of which we are more ashamed than of not being ourselves, and there is nothing that gives us greater pride and happiness than to think, to feel, and to say what is ours." (p. 288)
(1968). The Heart of Man: Its Genius for Good and Evil.
"The very need to achieve something creative makes it necessary to leave the closed circle of group solipsism and to be interested in the object it wants to achieve." (p. 94)
(1973). The Anatomy of Human Destructiveness.
"Power can mean power over people, or it can mean power to do things...Many writers, unfortunately, make use of this ambiguous meaning of the words 'power' and 'control', and in order to smuggle in the praise of 'power over' they identify it with 'power to'. Moreover, lack of control does not mean lack of any kind of organization, but only of those kinds in which the control is exploitative and the controlled cannot control the controllers." (p. 394)
"Being powerless and hence in danger of being enslaved, or having power and hence in danger of becoming dehumanized, are two evils. Which is to be shunned the most is a matter of religious and moral or political conviction." (p. 395)
(2003). Managerial and organizational reality: stories of life and work.
"Defamation attempts to cut the reformer off from a potentially sympathetic following by attributing his attempts at reform to questionable motives, underlying psychopathology, or gross incompetence. This three-pronged attack is meant to blackmail the reformer into submission and to transform a sympathetic following into a mistrustful crowd of onlookers or an angry mob that feels resentful at having been deceived by the reformer." (p. 331, Rory O'Day)
(1995). Trust: The Social Virtues and the Creation of Prosperity.
"Workers whose work rules were not rigidly defined but were instead allowed to make their own decisions about the production process turned out to be both more productive and better satisfied with their jobs. Workers under these conditions showed considerable interest in helping one another and created their own system of leaders and mutual support if left to themselves." (p. 230)
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